Removed.
Edited to Add:
Let me know if you would like the link. I've removed it because instead of getting opinions on the topic itself, I'm getting opinions on my life, which is not exactly what I was asking for.
I appreciate that people come here to read, BUT, if you're going to read just pieces and pick out the parts that you want to spin into rumors to pass around town, please just go the hell away.
I'm not asking whether anybody believes we need money or not. It might appear that our life is great. We have new-er vehicles, just bought a house (that we don't need, or deserve apparently), we do own an older boat and have two older snowmobiles. Apparently, I should get rid of absolutely everything and live in a home that haunts me every single day so that if our attempts at growing our family fail, I will have nothing. But that's what people around here want, isn't it? For nobody to have more than them? To not offer support or kind words when somebody is hurting? It's the small town way to talk shit and break down and spread their jealousy and nastiness as far as they can. I am so sick of being bullied. I'm sick of being ripped apart by people who have so much misery that they can't stand it. I mean seriously... I don't deserve a baby because I have too nice of a car and house?
I guess what makes me the most sad, angry, and a million other emotions is the fact that Nate and I literally help people for a living. I sometimes work for 36 hours STRAIGHT. It's not out of the question for me to put in 50 hours in a single weekend. And in the 10 hours I sometimes get off between Friday night and Saturday morning, I respond to VOLUNTEER ambulance calls instead of sleeping. I see people die. I try to help them in the absolute worst moments of their lives. I go home sweaty, sometimes covered in the blood of someone else, and occasionally in tears. I beat myself to a pulp to help others. For what? To not deserve something?
Judge me on my character. Judge me on my heart. Judge me for my husband - nobody in the world can say he's not a great person. Walk a day in my shoes, and then judge me. Feel free to judge yourself first. What do you do for others? Anything? Do you do any single thing to improve the life of someone else?
I may not need the things I have, (and I may not be keeping them, how the hell would you know?), but I do know that I don't need anybody in my life who is not supportive, who constantly bullies, or pretends to care but then runs to the bar to flap their lips. I do not need you. What I do need is for you to get the hell away from me. I'm not doing this anymore. Stop commenting here or to others. We will have a discussion in person because I am sick of your misery and hate and I will not continued to be bullied by you. See you soon :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't live in your town but am from there and am quite aware of your situation. It is horrible to have gone through the things that you have but is this really the only way to be able to afford to have a baby? I do believe you just bought a new house which you didn't need, drive new vehicles, have a fancy boat, snowmobiles, etc... I think I would first sell off some of that stuff before I would start asking strangers for money.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback, it's much of what I expected to be honest. However, I don't believe that anybody is totally "aware of our situation" other than the fact that Gavin died.
ReplyDeleteRight now, yes it really is since just one round of IVF with the testing we need will be between $17,000 and 25,000 - due up front. Being aware of our situation would include knowing about our pile of medical bills, our reasons for buying the new house, and our plans to sell some things to pay for the other half. I guess I didn't feel the need to spell it out.
Lastly, I was asked to create the account as a way for family to help out. I don't expect anything out of anyone, I was just asked to share.
Anyways, thank you for your input... that's basically how I felt about doing it as people weren't able to see exactly what we are doing on our end to make it possible so I can see how it is easy to judge. Next time you don't have to be anonymous though, your wording makes it pretty easy to figure out ;)