To My Boy

Gav,
It's the middle of the night.
I can't sleep.
Not unusual, I don't sleep much these days.
But tonight, my heart hurts. Freaking hurts.
I miss my baby. I miss you.
I know deep down that you're better,
that you have no pain, no suffering,
and gosh what more could I wish for!
But Little Bug, I'm not better.
I hurt.
It's 3:12 am.
I should be cuddling you, in the big comfy
chair I picked out just for us to cuddle in,
I shouldn't be sitting here crying.
But there's a big Gavin-shaped hole
in my life, and nothing else will fit.
I wish more than anything that
we could have another cuddle
right now and that I could give you enough
kisses to last an eternity,
but I know eventually
that day will come.
Until then, I'll love you forever.
Thanks for being mine.
I love you.
Mom